When first grade began for my son I braced for impact. Terrified of the pain he and I would face trying to go day-to-day I crossed my fingers.
Within less than a month the teacher contacted me. Again he was disruptive and highly talkative. Chewing on things and would not stay in his seat. At one point he even got on his chair and imitated a chicken. I just wanted to cry.
But what this teacher saw was different than the kindergarten teacher. She stated she suspected my son was very bright. very very bright and requested we allow them to test him.
YES!! Finally!!!
As suspected my son's IQ was quite high and tested advanced in all areas. He was easily bored.
He was placed in a program our school district has called 'purpose'. He was pulled for 4 out of 5 strands. Through the 1st-4th grade years he was well behaved in purpose but still disruptive, talkative and socially awkward in regular class. Kids began to shun him, blame him for things he didn't do because he was 80% of the time talking or fidgeting.
In 2nd grade a girl in his class took him under her wing. She too was in Purpose and she had a brother who struggled with some issues. Her kindness provided friendship my son was lacking because all the other kids thought he was weird, picked on him, bullied him and shunned him.
During this time his father and I separated and divorced, adding to my son's stress and difficulties. I fought with my ex (who was the insurance holder as I was flat broke with struggling to find a job and having my ex who is an attorney kick me out of the marital home.) I fought for my son. I fought to get him tested after the school's principal decided to take it upon himself and state he felt my son had asperger's syndrome. Schools are not allowed to speculate any form of diagnosis I found out later, it can be legally bad for them. But I never persued it because it was verbal and lacking proof.
I finally convinced my ex to have him tested to shut the school up.
I asked around and spoke with people. In doing that I found a wonderful facility capable of testing for all spectrums of behavior issues as well as autism.
After a full day of observation and testing it was decided that my son had severe ADHD and was terribly intelligent.
Once we got that diagnosis we still were flying blind.
Along the way we found a psychologist who felt he had adhd and bi polar. She put him on lamictal, which is a mood stabilizer. For a year we worked with her. No adhd meds tried until the end and stimulants was a disaster.
Friday, June 1, 2012
Kindergarten, the beginning
When my son was in preschool life seemed good. No bad news, no bad reports and he was happy. He went into kindergarten and the 3rd day of school the teacher called me. He wouldn't sit still, he chewed on his pencil. Within weeks I sat with her upon her request. She was a new teacher, maybe teaching 2 years after doing her student teaching etc.
She stated he had behavioral issues. I sighed knowing my son was very bright and asked 'is it possible that my son is advanced and bored?'
She replied, 'my gifted kids finish their work early and then go and play. Your son plays and then rushes through his work at the end.'
He gets his work done, okay. So I then asked 'is it possible he is gifted but different than those kids?'
Her reply was not agreeing the possibility that my son was advanced. I then sat up straighter and asked, 'so in your.....how many years have you been teaching?'
she squirmed 'um 2 years.'
'...okay, in your 2 years of teaching, how many kids have you had like my son?'
'A few,' she said.
'And how many of them were boys?' I asked. It is notorious that boys are less mature than girls at each age and are more fidgity.
All in all the meeting was unproductive and I got call after call over the excruciating year on every little thing. I have to tell you it was one of the most frustrating year.
Add to that the strain of a miss-matched marriage I was in was crumbling based on activities and behaviors my then husband and I both were at fault with. Our son's behaviors only wore more heavily on us.
She stated he had behavioral issues. I sighed knowing my son was very bright and asked 'is it possible that my son is advanced and bored?'
She replied, 'my gifted kids finish their work early and then go and play. Your son plays and then rushes through his work at the end.'
He gets his work done, okay. So I then asked 'is it possible he is gifted but different than those kids?'
Her reply was not agreeing the possibility that my son was advanced. I then sat up straighter and asked, 'so in your.....how many years have you been teaching?'
she squirmed 'um 2 years.'
'...okay, in your 2 years of teaching, how many kids have you had like my son?'
'A few,' she said.
'And how many of them were boys?' I asked. It is notorious that boys are less mature than girls at each age and are more fidgity.
All in all the meeting was unproductive and I got call after call over the excruciating year on every little thing. I have to tell you it was one of the most frustrating year.
Add to that the strain of a miss-matched marriage I was in was crumbling based on activities and behaviors my then husband and I both were at fault with. Our son's behaviors only wore more heavily on us.
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