This year has been Hell

My son is 14 years old now and almost done with 8th grade.  It has been the year from hell for homework.  This for a boy who can't keep organized and would rather lie and say he has no homework or already DID the homework but can't show me, than DO the homework.

So despite his IEP that is supposed to HELP him and I this year, it has been a challenge to search the teams homework page (only to discover most teachers don't update it), as well as 3-4 other individual teacher's homework pages.  Lord forbid if I miss one.  That is the one he ends up behind in and play catch up.

I don't want my son to think it's okay to treat him 'special' and let him hand things in late when other kids can not.

I WANT my child to learn how to be proactive about doing school work.  But if I as his mother have no true way to completely and adequately see what is due (since I am not a fly on the wall and not psychic and simply KNOW what is to be done and that it is either in a book he needs to bring home or an online book he can log into) then how am I to know what is done or what he did not do.  I need to teach him strategies to set up good habits to combat his desire to AVOID.....LIE .... AND BLAME OTHERS.  But find I am only teaching him how to get caught up.

sigh.

To any other parent out there facing this battle, this road, this journey, this diagnosis..... *fist bump* to you just keeping up the good fight for your kids.  It isn't easy.  It isn't pretty.  I'm sure they think I'm an evil crazy bitch at his school.  And in some ways I'm sure I am.  But a year of beating my head against the wall hurts.  I only have 4 more years to get him in good habits.

And since my ex-husband has given me full custody his help (which was minimal anyway) is non-existent.  My new husband thinks its all just EXCUSES my son gives and is a crutch not a REALLLLLLLLL thing.

My battle goes on on all fronts.  I battle the school, I battle my husband and my ex.  All I want is an easy road for my son and for me his tired......frustrated......(did I mention tired?)  mother.